Saturday, 21 April 2012

Study.

Do you know what I've realised I really enjoy studying :) aha.
I sound like such a geek! But spending the day to myself learning more is actually quite fun :).

In my last post I was saying how I don't really look forward to the weekend. But I was thinking maybe that's just because I love school?

That sounds weird, right? But my school is seriously amazing. I only have a max of 3 lessons a day so the rest of the time is just talking :).

I'm actually really sad I only have 4 weeks left. I know I'm almost 18 but it is actually scary moving on to uni, having to live by myself, make new friends. And if I'm honest I'm worried I'll slip back into anorexia...

I mean at the moment I'm telling myself I have to get better, I want to go to uni, I want to live a normal life. But next year will the motivation still be there?

For me motivation is the key to recovery. I spoke before about my friend, mimi. She's still struggling and o fear she is getting worse each day. I keep trying to motivate her, telling her doesn't she want to go out again, have fun, just you know be normal. But she just keeps saying she doesn't care. It broke my heart when she spent her 18th birthday just sat in her room shaking. But if she's not willing to motivate herself, what can anyone do?

I love how I start of talking about studying and just go of on a tangent! But really, I need to keep motivating myself, keep studying hard and more importantly keep fighting. Otherwise I know I can never have the life I want to live.

Of to do some economics :)
Hope you're all doing something just as fun! Aha

Love Ali Ox

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