Today was perfect.
Today I was me again.
Ana was still there, but I didn't let her take over.
And it felt great.
My family came up to visit today.
It just makes me so happy to be around them. They're so loving and supportive, it means so much that despite how horrible I have been they're still there for me.
Once they came I went to the kitchen to make them all drinks. My uncle excused himself and came and found me. He told me how proud he was of how far I'd come, and how he knew I could get better.
It just meant so much to me to see the faith he had.
I always hate it when people comment on how 'healthy' I look. But what he said was different.
He made me realise that it isn't about getting bigger it's about sorting my head out. And gaining a few more pounds is a small price to pay to do that.
So he asked, could I handle going out for a roast?
All I could picture was a huge plate, calories, calories, calories.
I panicked. I didn't think I could do it just yet.
But then I thought I could ask if we could go somewhere that serves other foods too?
I felt so so guilty but I really wanted to go out and eat with them.
I was scared at first. I still hate eating infront of people. But I ordered a low calorie chicken wrap, so I felt much safer. And it actually tasted so good! :)
Then after dinner they got out the dessert menu.
At first I thought 'No! I can't. I won't'
But then mum was like just have a look, maybe you could get a latte or something?
So I looked and I saw a sticky toffee pudding.
I've actually been craving one for weeks now and was planning to buy one to test myself. So I thought why not test myself now?
My family were shocked to see me eat it. But it was so good!
I can still feel it in my stomach now... but I actually think it was worth it!
So I think today was another victory, and there's many more of those to look foward too :).
Ah school and then clinic tomorrow :/
Hope you all had an amazing weekend!