Monday, 27 February 2012

Punishment

It feels like whenever I'm happy it wants to punish me.
Everytime I go out and have fun I feel so low the next day.
It's like it drains all my energy and just makes me feel so heavy.

So today when I woke up I didn't know what to do.
So I thought why not have an ensure?

I remember when I was first recovering and I had to down tonnes of these.
They actually taste amazing, almost like a frapacino <3.

Unfortunately it didn't quite give me the energy boost I expected. And now I'm annoyed that I've had the extra calories for no reason :/.

I know I have to wake up and go in to school but would it be terrible to just study from home today?

I think I'm just so tired of this. I don't know what to do anymore :/.

#needmyenergyback Ox

2 comments:

  1. I know im too late to elp you out today but of course if would be totally fine to stay at home today. you are recovering from a VERY SERIOUS illness right now and you HAVE TO make your physical and mental recovery you number one priority right now. you are doing so amazing and the fact that you actually chose to give your body what it needed is so fantastic i cant even congratulate you enough. well done for being so brave and you need to do what is best for you and your recovery and at the moment if that means staying at home to study that is PERFECTLY FINE!!! : ) keep going and the ONLY reason ed is screaming at you and is so lud right now is because it feel so threathened because FINALLY you are standing up to it and saying FECK OFF ED I WANT MY LIFE BACK AND YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WASTE ANY MORE OF IT!!!! and you know what??? ed is so freakin scared because you are being SO STRONG AND COURAGOUS right now and you WILL NOT give up the fight. YOU WILL KEEP FIGHTING ed and YOU WILL WIN your freedom. lots of hugs!!! enjoy your 'frappaccino tomorrow and shoe ed who is REALLY the boss!!! ; )

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  2. Aw sarah thank you! You always know what to say! I actaully went in in the end. I felt so dizzy but atleast I was in class trying to focus. You actaully give the perfect advice! We are fighting so hard and we will recover! You are AMAZING! And you definitely have the knowledge and determination to put ed in its place! Thank you for always being there sweetie <3 Ox

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