Wednesday, 29 February 2012

"I think I'll just become anorexic..."

I was chatting to a guy from class today. He's not the slimmest or best looking but he's so funny, sweet and intelligent. He was saying to me how he'll never find a girl. I asked him why he was saying that? He's amazing how can he not see it? He just laughed and said "its fine, I'll just become anorexic this summer, and then I'll go to uni looking hot."

I wasn't upset by his comment but it really made me think, do people undertsand what an eating disorder is?
It made me realise that people don't see it as a mental illness.
In a way it's good it means I can confide in my friends about my anorexia without them knowing I'm mentally ill. But it also means they can't understand why I won't eat. They assume its all about looking good, but for me it was never really about that.

I guess it's just difficult becuase no-one fully understands eating disorders, I definitely don't.
But once I've recovered I would love to learn more and maybe educate others about them.
It makes me think, yh I have had some tough times because of my ed but because of it I could help others; like turning a negative into a positive.

Ah anyway I better go eat dinner. I don't know why I'm always so scared. Like even if its healthy I'm still scared of food touching or foods that are hot :/.
But hey I'm feeling the fear, but doing it anyway.

Wish me luck Ox

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