Thursday, 23 February 2012

Constant battle

I'm so nervous.

I'm just on my way to the clinic. I feel I've gained loads but what if I've lost?

Sure that would make ana happy, but it wouldn't make me happy.

Yes I am scared that I have gained. But today I kinda want to have gained.

Ana is screaming "why are you saying that??" "we want to loose weight!" "we want to be slim and happy!"

But I'm screaming back no!
I want to show everyone I want to get better and I'm trying so hard to do so. And weight gain is the way to do that.

I guess I'm realising I can't ever fully recover without gaining weight. And strangely I'm starting to become okay with that.

Post later hope you're all having a great day :)

#listeningtothelogicalpartofme Ox

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